I haven't been writing here. I have barely been able to write on my main blog, My Scared Insanity. That is the thing with having a mental illness... my interests and capabilities can change so suddenly. I can go from having so much to say I can hardly STOP myself from writing, to not being able to find any meaningful words. I think I am somewhere in between right now, but I am going to use this blog again for its intended purpose. My random thoughts and rants that aren't directly related to anything.
I must admit I have a specific thought right now that I am a little too chicken to ask on my main blog. Why did I lose all interest from all of my followers? I may find the courage to ask over there, although I guess I am afraid of asking no one because I don't seem to have any interested readers anymore. I remember a time when I used to post and I would have like 5 responses within the hour. Ironically I started the blog just for myself, not even realizing there would be anyone interested in my writing, but I came to depend on and look forward to everyone's support and comments. Is it because of the time where I was absent and neglected both blogs? Did everyone feel betrayed because I had been drinking so much? Did my writing just start sucking? I guess I can only go back to writing from my heart and if I am able to help one person then I should be thankful and maybe one day there will be people who care enough to comment again. I just feel like I messed up such a good thing.