Thursday, July 22, 2010

up then down

happy then sad. irritated then calm. I HATE when meds mess with my bipolar depression and mania. I feel so isolated when my moods are unpredictable and I start to have severe anxiety when I either have a symptom (for now they are pain or nausea because of my undiagnosed stomach problems) or when I know I am going to have to do something about it (in this case either try the prescribed medicine or call the Dr. for a new one). I am talking MAJOR anxiety. I have got to find the right Dr. that can take the time to find appropriate medications for both my physical (post gastric bypass and now ill with chronic pain) and mental (bi-polar non-medicated) conditions.  I am seriously taking one slow and steady step at a time because I will not go back into the mental health system and become a puppet to a bunch of psych meds. I may not be a Dr. but I am the expert on me, and I have worked waaaaay too hard to balance out my life and use my emotional tools to deal with my mental illness, to be lead back to a drug dependence.



  1. mmmm.... I'm right there with you girl. The meds do me more harm than good. But sometimes finding the balance med-free is challenging.
    Saying a prayer for you!
    Nothing exists beyond this moment in time... and this moment is all you have to attend to.
    Be gentle with yourself.

  2. Good luck with it. Sounds like having a talk with the doctor is a good idea.