venting

When I am the sickest, or the most emotionally disturbed, is when it takes the most work to get better. It is also when I have the least energy and motivation. Some things only get worse with time and its a snowball effect. I want to feel better, oh how I so desperately want to feel better, but I don't feel good enough to get going in the wrong direction. It will eventually get to the point that my fight or flight kicks in. I don't like functioning on crisis mode either. I definitely need to find it in me to implement some changes.