just so sad and lonely

I just don't feel good. Don't know which way I am going. Simple things seem so freakin hard lately- both physically and mentally. Im up one minute, down the next five. I feel like nobody is listening, and I don't even know what it would mean if they were. I am afraid to feel. I just want to be loved, want to be important to somebody. I surely miss my grandpa and grandma, and my mom and Thomas. Why do all the people who loved me have to be gone? Why couldn't I see it when they were here and love them back?

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?